I sat down tonight with the full intention of writing about relationships and how difficult it can be to maintain them with PMDD. How we can sabotage our own love lives with the issues we suffer from. But, you know what? I feel like talking about sex.
In a healthy relationship sex is medicine. It heals. It strengthens the bonds of the couple in a way that nothing else can. Not to mention the physical health benefits, exercise and the release of endorphins and dopamine which can ease tension, relieve headaches and relax muscles. If done properly, complete relaxation is achieved. Very few things we do in this life give us complete relaxation. Plus, it's a much better way to pass the time than watching tv and doesn't cost anything. (If it is costing you something then that is not the kind of healthy relationship I am talking about and I cannot comment on that type of arrangement other than you get what you pay for so...tip well.) For women sex can ease the tension and pain of premenstrual cramps.
For me it is the miracle cure for PMDD. During and after, sometimes for days after, I have no symptoms. Zero. They go away. Luckily for me I have been in a relationship for almost two years with an amazing man who is a real trooper (aka a very lucky man). Luckily for him we live 500 miles apart! I have always been actively interested in sex and they were NOT kidding about that whole sexual peak thing after 35. That put me on hyperdrive. But I did not see the real benefits until this most recent relationship. Now that I am very well educated about my body, my symptoms and the usual patterns it is easy to see the difference between a month when we spend time together and a month we don't.
In the past PMS and PMDD and several other things were called Hysteria (What is Female Hysteria?) and the common treatment was orgasm, often performed by the physician by hand. This was addressed in the movie "The Road to Wellville." The new movie coming out called "Hysteria"is about how this led to the invention of the vibrator. For centuries doctors seemed to know that 'pelvic massage' and manual orgasm were good for us and cured us of many ills but for some reason our husbands weren't doing the job. Believe it or not, that is the biggest complaint I have heard from women for the last 20 years - not enough sex.
Come on, guys! Help us out. Put in the time, the effort, do what it takes to get things going and everyone will feel better. Do the dishes without being asked, seriously. Do you have any idea how sexy that is?! Afraid to try and approach us when we are irritable? Well, if you manage to get past the objects being hurled at your head and turn things sexy it will probably be an experience you will never forget.
And, hey, just because it's good for you doesn't mean it can't still be naughty. Been married 20 years and tired of your bed? Go parking. Do it on the kitchen counter when the kids are asleep. You may have another 20 years together, buy some costumes and get to it! That reminds me, anyone know where I can get a nice set of spurs?